![]() Instead of justifying why a lie is necessary to protect someone’s feelings, put that energy toward finding a way to achieve that same goal by telling the truth.Ĭompulsive, or pathological, lying refers to a specific type of dishonesty. “When we start breaking trust within our own world,” she says, “that inauthenticity spiderwebs from there.” In some cases, white lies might even be encouraged as a common part of social interaction.Įgel believes “there’s always a way to express truth in a classy, well-intentioned, and respectable way.” She goes on to explain that while lying can damage your relationships with others, it can also damage the relationship you have with yourself. There’s a good chance when you were a kid, one of your parents said something like this: “Even if you don’t like your birthday present from Grandma, tell her it’s just what you wanted so you don’t hurt her feelings.”īryant’s 2008 study suggests most people generally accept white lies as harmless. “We lie because that’s what we were taught to do,” Egel says. Looking for more tips? Our guide to being more assertive can help.Īvoid trying to justify or validate dishonesty “Tonight doesn’t work for me, but I’d like to hang out.“I can’t take on more work this week because I need to focus on the tasks I already have.Start by giving complete answers, not ones that you think the other person wants to hear. But being more assertive about your needs can help you speak up about what’s best for you. It’s not always easy to say no, especially if you don’t want to hurt a friend’s feelings or face possible consequences at work. ![]() These lies might not seem like a big deal, but they can take a toll on you. You might feel more motivated to lie if you have a hard time creating boundaries in your personal or professional life. I can definitely help with that project.”ĭo any of those phrases sound familiar? Have you said them without an ounce of sincerity? Maybe they’re half true: You’d like to hang out but you aren’t feeling it right this minute. “I’d love to have you over for a few days.” It might just means that they are human, like the rest of us.Practice setting - and sticking to - your boundaries ![]() And, if you catch a person in a lie and that person has been diagnosed with a mental health condition, it's not safe to assume that the lie is a symptom of their condition. However, that does not mean that everyone with a mental health disorder is a pathological liar. Some research suggests that these patterns of lying are associated with different goals, such as boosting one's own self-image or manipulating another for personal gain. In addition, pathologically lying is a common symptom in other mental health conditions, such as borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. A landmark study from the American Journal of Psychiatry (AJP) identified a number of personality disorders that were associated with lying, such as antisocial, histrionic, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders. However, many believe it to be a symptom of other mental illnesses, such as personality disorders. Pathological lying, also known as chronic or habitual lying, is not a psychological disorder.
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